Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Is it because I queefed?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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