god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
