I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
