Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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