She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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