I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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