but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
