Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
