Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize
