Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
