i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
