What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
