I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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