i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Couch. On fire.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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