..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
