I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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