roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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