Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
