I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
