The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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