Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
