I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
