I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
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