4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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