And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
