everyone is single if you try hard enough
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
