I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I wish i was in the wii world.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
