Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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