So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
