Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
