It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
she smelled like a LAN party
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
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