OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
i've created a new STD.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
