we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Randomize
