They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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