we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
