i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Randomize
