you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
