i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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