At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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