people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
