i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
