she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
