FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
