pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
