The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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