just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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