Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Randomize
