Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Randomize
