K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
