he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
