Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
